Helmets are better when learning lessons the hard way!

Our son Cian is a typical first-born in that he soaked up loads of attention before his sister came along and he's had to deal with parents cautiously navigating every situation with him for the first time. That is probably why he was super excited to be able to ride his bike to school when he matriculated to a new school this year. Ogletree Elementary (3rd-5th grades) is actually further from our house than his previous school, but most of the commute is via our neighborhood, complete with sidewalks and relatively little car traffic. So, while we insisted on driving him to school and walking him to class on his first day, we agreed to let him ride starting on Day 2.

One of the wonderful things about our neighborhood is the number of children that live in Grove Hill. Cian knows at least five boys in his grade that all live within a few streets of each other. Therefore, a few of the boys' moms all communicated with each other and agreed they should ride to school together, to keep an eye on each other. It provided my wife, Caitlin, with comfort knowing that two of the boys have older siblings at Ogletree and they would also be available to guide them on the bike ride to school...at least for the first week. So it was, that I was going to walk Cian to the intersection where he was to meet two of his buddies, about half a block away. I strode out and made sure Cian had his book bag and helmet on and we waited for his two friends. After a minute or two, about 7a, we saw the boy that lived farthest down the street pedal over to the nearer boy's home, and a minute later, they were tearing down the sidewalk, heading right toward us. The first boy to approach pretended he was going to run into our son but stopped short, chuckling. And then without a word more, the two boys took off toward school, with Cian following in tow. Of course the start of the ride is directly down hill until they have to make their first left turn, across a street. What I last witnessed were three 8 yo boys speed racing down that hill, with our son on the road and the other two on the sidewalk. If I'm honest, my initial reaction was, "y'all are idiots, why are you riding so fast??". Then on the walk back to the house, I caught myself smiling and thinking, they're just 8 year old boys having fun. How cool!

I shared that story with my wife when I got back to the house and then didn't think much of it, as I got ready for work.

Much later that day, after the school day had ended, I received a call from my wife while I was still working. She said that she was calling to tell me that Cian had apparently gotten into an accident while biking to school that day. According to him, about halfway to school--they were on one of the sidewalks that opens up and can actually fit a golf cart--his friend in front of him hit the brakes instantly. In a panic, our little man didn't know what to do. He felt like he didn't have time to swerve or grab his hand brakes, so he just bounced into the back tire of his friend's bike. His friend barely noticed and kept pedaling up the hill they were on. Cian, however, said his bike did a "donkey kick" and he was thrown off of it, landing flat on the sidewalk beside him. According to the busted reflectors on his bike, the scraps on his nose, the blood on his knee and the gash on his mouth, it looked pretty painful, to say the least! I've never seen him wipe out on a bike like that, and all things considered, he's a pretty skilled biker. (He learned to ride a "big boy bike" at age four and started trail riding at age 5.)

What happened next is what warms my heart. His two friends finally noticed he was not with them when they got to the top of the hill, but they turned and waited for him, and then proceeded to stay with him as he walked his bike the rest of his way to school, which is about a half mile in length. They kept their Corp in tact and made sure Cian's first day biking didn't get any worse than it already was. For that I'm grateful to these kids.

But the biggest takeaway from this is that those three 8 year olds had to figure out what to do right then and there on their own. They don't have cell phones and there wasn't a parent right there to offer assistance, They used their best judgment, our son toughed it out, and they went on with their day. Of course the humor from this comes from the fact that we actually purchased a Tik Talk watch for Cian to wear specifically so we can text with him and keep tabs as he bikes to and from school. However, we didn't receive it until about three days later. In hindsight though, I'm glad this happened before Cian had the watch because he was forced to "resolve the issue" himself. As a dad, one of the toughest things for me to do is to relinquish control and not try to come in and save the situation for my children. It's good for them, however, to be challenged and figure things out on their own. Both Cian and Kenna Grace are very smart individuals and they'll only get better at decision-making as they practice it more on their own. How can I expect them to grow if I keep them right by my side?

Biking to and from school has afforded Cian a limited amount of independence that both he and his parents appreciate. However, the best part of this story is that the very next day, after his accident, Cian put his helmet on and wanted to ride right back to school! Cian's learned from that experience and so have we as parents, and for that i'm grateful.